february 2008, pt.1

It is a nice feeling to write with Jakob. He is incredible charming and every message from him is aiming for the center of my heart. It is getting more and more difficult for me to keep a distant position because everything he writes to me is pushing me one emotional step further. I am careful, reluctant but his constantly sweet and nice words have begun to mark me and leave hope and wishes on my buried illusions. It is a very slow process but by middle of february the confusing facts on his page become less important and I start fully to enjoy his messages and words:

HAHA...possibly not my best try, but....

ah, what the hell...i wish we could go hand in hand in Berlin/Tokyo/wherever, laughing, smiling and i would probably at some point stand still and kiss you.

but i can't write that so i dont.

but i like the movie alot :)

_____________________________________________

I posted it because i love Alfredo Catalani's "la wally" and because i have always loved her voice. It wasn't my intension to make you "soft"..it was my way of showing my appreciation. Many years ago when i was hitch-hiking through Europe i came to Milano and even i didnt have any relationship to opera i knew i had to go to "la Scala"..and then that night..it was "la wally" they performed. It wasn't Callas but it was beautiful..sad..haunting.

Take my hand and we some day will go to la Scala..holding hands..being moved..and then we will find a ristorante late evening, drink Barolo redwine, holding hands and listen to the sound of the cicadas outside...

it's not bad, isn't it????

______________________________________________

speak to me.

tell me everything.

tell me nothing.

just tell me.

cause

to be honest:

i want your voice so bad

is it bad???

thinking of your voice....of you

_______________________________________________

of course it is a fake...i don't give my number to everyone.

but to you.....i'll give you what you want me to give.

Damn, D, let me call you....make me feel like i am walking with you while you're taking my hand..laughing, smilimg...my arm around your shouler....

yours

Jakob

_______________________________________________

D...

I understand if you feel that i flirt too aggressive with you, but the fact is that i like you..very very much.

i dont want to ruin our friendship so if you feel annoyed or uneasy recieving my words, just tell me.

don't be scared.

but i thought you should know.

yours

Jakob.

___________________________

Dear D.

No, it is not a game for me. Your story about "....." is more than enough be make me be very very careful not to play games with you...not to decieve your kindness. I was nervous when i opened your message. All kinds of thoughts ran through me: had i gone too far, had i somehow got the wrong impression of the situation, what happend to your page, was i still your friend..all kinds of thoughts. I am glad that you answered most of my unspoken questions. It makes me feel much more easy at heart now. Thank you.

Yes, of course there is a lot of "hidden" messages in comments to you. Maybe not in the begining, but now there is. it's a bit more "safe" to tell you things through videos/pictures...but the bottomline is that i like you a lot.

yes, i send that video to another friend of mine but that should be seen in a whole other context: That she finally find love and felt good and happy. I would never do anything to put my friendship woth you at risk but i realize now that i should have informed you that i had posted that video on another friends page. Still the song is for you!

I am sorry to hear about the things that happend to you yesterday. It is hard to write something meaningful about it since i don't know the person, but i so much hope that you have the strength to be strong enough to handle the situation you are in.

I am so sorry for not being online yesterday when you could have used some comfort and someone to talk to, but these days are pretty busy. Most evenings i am not alone or i am out, i have so many friends who i want to see while i am here in norway.

D...i am glad you don't close down to me. It means a lot to me.

yours.

Jakob. 

______________________________________

maybe i should delete that comment i made to your blog?

it is perhaps a bit too obvious...i think i prefere "hidden" messages. Besides, i dont know if it is good timing since you have so many difficulties and problems to taking care of/deal with. Just know i would have felt truely happy if i had written those words to you and not stolen from Neruda.

But it is a lovely poem i think.

you can make my heart warm and good in so many ways.

you already do.

to feel your lips and nose on my neck while i gently kiss your hair is another way.

yours

Jakob.

_____________________________________

have no more words right now.

i just sit and read your messages again.

and it makes me feel so good.

and i am smiling

and feel warm

and safe and liked.

it's my turn to ask you to close your eyes and imagine how it will feel when i hold you close and kiss you.

______________________________________

yes. yes. yes.

laugh...kiss...laugh...kiss...laugh...kiss while we are laying on the floor.

i would love to kiss you while you are laughing.

______________________________________

no, i meant it the way you understood it. I glad you like Italy and to be honest i wouldn't mind to jump into Fontana di Trevi one dark warm night with you. Don't say yes, cause then i will do it...really! :)

______________________________________

i want to be in trouble with you..i think it will do me good...be exiting, but what i want now is to kiss you.

close your eyes...feel my arms around you, holding you close to me...keep your eyes closed and imagine my lips against yours..soft..gentle, feel how my tongue open your lips...

______________________________________

don't speak...run your finger over my lips, smile to me... I want to take your hand and together we go in to Fontana di Trevi where i kiss you with so much passion..on the way home to our hotel we go drpping wet hand in hand in the warm Roma night..

you know, it can be true one day.

right now i am dreaming and it feels wonderful.

_______________________________________

one very very important thing..i forget to tell you:

yes, i love to play with you, but NOT playing as in playing with emotions.

i really really like you. a lot. so much. much more than you know.

_______________________________________

how will it feel when i hold you in my arms?

how will it feel when i press my lips against yours?

how will it feel when i feel your tongue on my lips?

how will it feel when i hold you so close and you can feel my breath on your skin?

how will it feel when i touch your hand?

how will it feel when i feel your fingertip on my soft lips?

i want to know.

i need to know.

________________________________________

sometimes always..nice one. i like when you play with words.

But together with me

first Roma, then Tokyo...

deal?

_________________________________________

DEAL!

Sorry for the delay in answer.

i was looking for a video from the movie "roman holiday" with audrey hepburn and gregory peck.

i want us to jump into the trevi fountain one warm romantic evening.

Actually i considered proposing to you in the middle of Trevi but i can't remember how deep it is, so...it could be a nice sight, me falling to my knees to ask for your hand and then it turns out there's very deep...haha

but of course such things doesn't happen in dream..only in reality.

_________________________________________

no, i didnt faint :)

yes, maybe a bit.

because of you.

of the imagination of you and me and Roma.

and kisses.

and holding hands with you.

and seeing you smile.

and feeling your heartbeat.

and of just being near to you.

D, don't be afraid.

thinking of you.

sometimes always.

  

yours

jakob.

_________________________

The more messages I get from him the more I feel attracted to his words until the day I cannot deny anymore that I have fallen in love with a virtual man.

D.

_____________________________________________________________

characteristics:

Jakob loves games ! Hidden messages are the perfect instruments for his games. (Remember, for sociopath everything is a game !) By hidden messages he doesn't need to commit himself to anything or  anyone. But to keep the game running he is placing the messages smart enough. Althoug you are not the only one who can see this message you think all his messages are meant only for you. They are not. He will always have at least 5 players for his games.

Typically he prefers music videos and movie snippets for his hidden messages.

By posting a video to you the first thing you will do is to look up for the lyrics of the song. Every lyric seems to be written for you and Jakob. 

Here is a short list of his typical music videos he likes to post (in the beginning):

Steve Earle - I thought you should know

Nick Cave - Love Letter / Into My Arms

Go Betweens - Finding You

Madrugada - Honey Bee

Ryan Adams - Two

Rainer Ptacek - Life is fine

16  Horsepower - Sinnerman
Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love

By posting a movie snippet to you the first thing you will do is to watch it and to imagine you and Jakob in that scene. Every scene seems to describe the future with you and him.

Here is a short list of his typical movie snippets he likes to post (in the beginning):

Wild at heart (Love Me Tender scene)

L'avventura (Kiss scene)

From here to eternity (Beach scene)

Breakfast at Tiffanies (Ending)

You are welcome to complete the lists !

strategies:

Check the brainwashing and overuse of  seductive NLP emebbedwords like "trust" "touch" "kiss" and "close" !  (see similar examples on cyberpaths.blogspot.com)

He seems to be clairvoyant when it comes to your hidden longings and he has the ability to make you feel unique.
And Ladies, isn't that exactly what we women want ?

(but to you.....i'll give you what you want me to give.

.....

i want us to jump into the trevi fountain one warm romantic evening.

Actually i considered proposing to you in the middle of Trevi...
sure, a lovely scenario, he just missed the tiny fact that he was already married ! )

 

No, it is not a game for me.

What infamous words ! And a brilliant manoeuvre to tell you the opposite of the truth.