june/july 2009

Four or five days later, I am just at work when I get an angry question from his friend in germany where he still lives: "if I would know where Jakob is right now ? He didn't come home last night." No I don't. He had called me the day before and did not mention any special plans for the upcoming days. Everything seemed alright. The next day he is still away and she is just about to call him "missing" at the police as he suddenly appears at her apartment again. Ignoring the trouble he caused to her he just answered he was in Berlin "because it is the city where I spent the most wonderful time with d.. I wanted to be in the city with all the beautiful memories of us." Yeah right...If he lies he exaggerates so much sometimes that it is just not plausible. She doesn't believe his story, I don't believe his story, we know he has lied for his own specific reasons and his friend is loath to take him back to her apartment but finally she does since he begs rueful as so often and beside she trusts that he still is in preparation for the job. Later she tells me that all the time he has been with her alone he caused nothing but trouble. He stole money from her, insulted her in front of her daughter and otherwise just sat around doing nothing or pretended to read an IT book. 


Next day I receive the bill for the cellphone which Jakob uses. I hadn't paid much attention to it in the past but this time I do and contrary to the months before I look at the details which are listed in the bill. The first thing I notice is the total amount of the bill and I am shocked. The bill for Jakobs cellphone is more than 2'000 swiss francs for only the last month. I look at the details and see that it teems with foreign numbers. It was agreed with him that he only use it for calls to swiss companies to set up appointments for job interviews (and to call/text me). But what I find is a long list of long distance calls to france, netherlands, the states, germany, canada, denmark, finland, uk and italy. The only swiss number in the list is mine. Not one number is a companies number but I can read the references and I know to whom the numbers belong to. The bill is the final proof for Jakobs lies. Everything was a big scam. And it goes worse when I call the phone company and ask for the bills from the last months since february. They show all the same: calls to different countries which partly lasted for hours. I know that most of the numbers belong to different women he had or still has (virtual) affairs with. The bills show all details. Place, duration, numbers, time of the calls, costs. He often called them in series. I remember dialogues with him on that phone where he swore to heaven that he will take care of us and promised to be the man he wants to be for me and that he will make it all up to me again. Now I can see what those words meant to him. Nothing. It's sobering. All his masks fall, all his games crash and all explanations or promises or words he ever gave me turn to dust. Disdain and revulsion is all what is left when I wake up in june. It's over. I call his friend, tell her what I found out and that I have decided to break up with him for good. She tells him to leave right away and throws him out.
D.
___________________________________________
And as nothing really happend Jakob plays the victim, his favourite role. Here some eMails from Jakob to his former friend (see also attachments):


"Still alive and around your area.
I cant get online much because i have to collect bottles to get enough money to get to an internet cafe.
Can you at least give me D. email adress or please ask her if it is ok that i send her an email..
you can think what you want about me, but i never said anything to your lies or hold it against you.
Jakob."
Always the same. Instead of getting active and taking self responsibility he plays pity.
After one year living with me he can't remember my email adress. No surprise, it just proves Jakobs selfcentered perception.
Last sentence in that message: threading as method to intensifiy pressure on people who are "dangerous" to him and separate him from his target. And if that doesn't work he tries the opposite again and appeals to your heart (push-and-pull strategies):


"(...) I dont want to geet into fights with you right now, even I can understand you very well. I know i did wrong to you and D., but I desperately need your help. i know you got a big heart. i am still on the road and i am totally exhausted...no sleep, no food, no nothing.
hopefully hearing from you soon,
Jakob."

 Here he has the nerves to demand things which never belonged to him. (see attachment)


"Hello (...),
Can we meet somehere and i can have my clothes then ?"


And refuses instead to give other things back which do not belong to him either combined with  impudent accusation.  


that i can't give you.
First: The things she gave me as a present, which means it is mine.
Second: I don't trust you really give it back to her.
sorry.


Liar !!!

 As his (former) friend insists he threads again.


"(...)
Have you told your "business partners" that you are NOT registered as a company ? I can help you and call them if you dont like to do it yourself.
fuck you, (..) You fucking liar."


Her company was registered, I saw the registration.
Jakob turns everything against you as soon as you make the slightest mistake. The message above is a good example.  In the end he makes you save things carefully so that you are able to prove that it is not YOU who is crazy. If you can't prove it he for sure will try to make YOU the sick person in public and to others. So keep things !


He is cruel against his (former) friend for no reason. She offered him a place to stay, to get him into a job and/or to help him to get social support from the german government. For that he insults her and her daughter , threads her and talks nasty about her. All women he was involved with in reality experienced the same. He does not behave as a friend although he keeps telling it. He abuses, insults, mistreats and lives parasitic. There is no value in him who makes him a friend.

When he was kicked out of the place in germany some things had been found which Jakob left in that place. Remarkable are notes which were hided allover in the place where he slept. The notes were hided in gaps between shelfs, in closets, behind doors and other unexpected points. Not only the places were strange. Like a mantra he wrote on every note the same line. Over and over and over again. On countless notes always the same: " d., what do you do when you are caught between thought and expression ?"

But by far the most interesting thing about the notes are the different fonts. He used up to seven different fonts which seem completely different and seem to come from different people. I never put attention to it before but when I received these notes I looked through the hundreds of notes he wrote me when he lived with me in Z. . And I saw that they also are written in different fonts. (see the attachments in chapter "august 2008" !) I have the theory that Jakob has developed at least one "lie writing" and one "love writing". Because some of the notes which clearly relate to a lie are written in a complete different style as love notes. I dont know if there is something like a "truth writing" too. As I said it is a personal guess only but I think it illustrates some aberrances. Please see some of the notes attached which had been found at the place in germany.

Furthermore a mysterious but insightful list had been found which Jakob obviously used to develop a plan or as concept for new lies. Please find the list also atttached.